22 April, 2010

Does it Matter?

How important is it to ensure that we have been forthright with people and ourselves while we have the opportunity?

I have lived with the adage that taking the opportunities to express gratitude and love for others is important.  I don’t know when or if I will see them again, so… why not speak my emotions and give or share that love and gratitude?

Perhaps it is based on the idea that I don’t want to live my life regretting that I never said this or I never did that – that someone I loved never knew it because I didn’t take the time to tell them. 

Yet today I find myself wondering just how important that adage is?

I know people who are convincing in their believes that it doesn’t matter.  They are comfortable with the idea that someone might die without the conflict in the relationship resolved.  An opportunity to heel and mend isn’t a choice that is made.  Things left unstated are not regretted – life goes on and it just is what it is. 

These thoughts came to mind as I considered my grandfather’s stroke last week.  Although he is physically well, his ability to talk, write, and read has been impaired.  He is now in the rehabilitation center where he has to learn to take care of himself to some extent.  He is 90 years old, and the chances that he will continue to have a quality life are high.  But for some that isn’t the case. 

He could have died Thursday night.

Have I said all that needs to be said?

Have I made peace with him and within myself?

The answer is yes.  I have.  But I have to wonder if it is really necessary?  For me it is.  I want to give the love and the emotions I feel to people – I want them to realize that they made a difference or that their role in my life is appreciated. 

But at the end of the day, does it matter?

Can people live happily ever after without resolution?  With feelings repressed or denied? 


TAG said...

Can people live happily ever after without resolution? With feelings repressed or denied?

For some people the answer is Yes. Yes they can.

But I know you and I are not those people. Doing things the right way does matter to us because we make it matter.

I wish more people cared enough to really think about the things that matter (or should) in their lives. Sadly far too many do not think or care. It is far to easy to go through life in a semi-conscious state, neither thinking or feeling about anything.


Mama Llama said...

It is easier to go through life not feeling nor thinking, to echo TAG above. I see Soon-to-be-Ex Mr. Llama very much like that, and have told him so, although he feels he's doing great--he doesn't feel, his meds numb him, so sure he feels great.

Ignorance is indeed bliss.

I am sorry to read of your grandfather's stroke, and I meant to mention that yesterday when we spoke. Hugs to you.

Be well, TE. Happy Friday!