20 April, 2010

Happy Anniversary

The post I wrote yesterday was written a few months back as a submission to a publication.  It was a piece that I needed to write; a piece that, as Patty suggested, was the letter in itself.  I drafted two entries, submitted both, but have not yet posted the second and am not sure that I will but… who knows!

Today marks a year – the anniversary of a pivotal point in my life, in my daughter’s life, and in our relationships with her father.  

Today marks the end of an emotional year in which I talked and wrote and talked and wrote, and… did I mentioned I talked?  Unlike other participants in the situation, I did not isolate, limit information, or shut down… I talked.  I set out to find peace, contentment, and myself through conversations and shared emotions and reaching out to friends and family for help.  I have no doubt that I drove them all crazy at times “Just move on!!” And I didn’t always like what they had to say “Just move on!!” But I heard, I listened, and I discovered myself and the strength of my friendships and the strength of my family that much more.  

Today marks the end of a year that found me learning to trust my instincts and intuition having to first doubt them.  It is a year in which I had to learn how to let go and trust – to stop using perception to gauge the future and look at the day at hand.  This is a lesson I am working to date as one of my professional strengths is big picture thinking and looking for long term solutions over short term bandages… and yet, this year I have learned that issues appear and are resolved with time and readiness.  “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”  I get it now more than in the past.

Today marks a year in which I remembered the power of my voice, the importance of my boundaries and self respect, and the beauty of hope, love, and laughter.  I found myself turning off my mobile phone, leaving my home PC off more than not, and reconnecting to the world, my house, and me!

It is a powerful anniversary.  It is the day that will always remind me that actions speak volumes.  It is the day my daughter lost the only family she ever knew and found herself challenged with coming to terms with a world unlike the only one she knew.

It is a year in which I learned the challenges of working with people who live in denial… and that is something I am still learning as well.  I never realized just what a powerful force denial can be having never seen it or been closely associated with it.  

Today marks the end of one phase of my life – a phase that I cherish.  Today marks the end of a year that included more tears, frustration, anger, and then growth – a year that has me grateful for the highs and the lows and the challenges and the frustrations and the person I found inside me… not to mention the person that I remembered myself to be.  (It was really nice to see her again!)  

Today marks several phases drawing to a close; today marks phases  just beginning!

We celebrate anniversaries for the year that is closing.  I celebrate this anniversary for that which I have learned throughout the year but… mostly for the year that is beginning.  

Here is to a year – a year that changed our lives.  A year that allowed us to choose to learn and grow and love and open our hearts to possibilities.  

And here is to a year that is just beginning.    



dadshouse said...

What a year for you.

The Exception said...

It has been quite a year - and it has been quite an experience... And ai appreciate all of it!